Parent News - Mark and Debra Tyszkiewicz

Tue 27 Nov 2007

Phoebe Tyszkiewicz, from Moreton Bay College in QLD, has just returned from her long program to France having won a Student Exchange Australia Language Scholarship. Here is feedback from her parents.

Now that Phoebe is back from France, we have had a little time to reflect on the exchange experience from a parents’ viewpoint, which we thought might be of some interest to other parents. Our “parental viewpoint” has two parts to it – how the exchange was from our perspective and how we see the exchange as an experience for Phoebe.

As Phoebe was only 14 years old when she left for her ten-month exchange to France, we must say that the realisation that she had gone (as in ten minutes after we left the airport) was a rather overwhelming one. The whole application process, and subsequent preparation, just seemed “to happen” – so, believe it or not, when she actually left, it was a bit of a shock! Before she left we had always said that “if she copes, then we will”, and that was pretty true. Phoebe had only a few minor hiccups in the ten months (e.g. deciding to move families), so generally our peace of mind was pretty well maintained.

However, one interesting phenomenon did happen. As we were sitting here in Australia constantly wondering how she was, Phoebe was in France not really reciprocating the “wondering”. In fact, now we have discussed this with her since she has returned, she is somewhat amazed that we spent so much time missing her – she just got on with the exchange! We had a conversation with a friend (now in her twenties) who did an exchange some years ago about this, and she said that she had never, to that day, thought that her parents may have worried about her while she was overseas. This prompted her (now some ten years later) to ask her parents about this, and she was quite taken aback to learn that they had, in fact, had constant thoughts and concerns about how she was going when she was away. We figure that the moral of this story is that most students probably cope better with the exchange experience than their parents do, and that lots of the (very natural) worry is unnecessary!

All up, from our parental perspective, the exchange has been a huge success. Our hope before the exchange was that Phoebe would return with lots of great memories, have an even more glowing view of France than she had before she left, have made many (potentially lifelong) friends, and be reasonably fluent in the language. All these have been realised, and more!

This leads into how the exchange was (as we see it) for Phoebe. It certainly has not only left her with the love for all things French, but has also made her self-confident and independent. She not only experienced a different way of life, saw lots of France, and learnt a new language, but she also realised she could travel across the world without her parents, make new friends in a different culture, negotiate some host family conflict in a different language, and successfully navigate through a very different schooling system. You don’t really get that type of experience by staying at home!

We are now looking forward to playing host to a number of Phoebe’s French friends in the middle of 2008, and she is very eager to return to visit her friends and host families in France at the end of next year.

Looking back, everything that Student Exchange Australia said about the exchange experience was true. There would be the occasional rough patches, but these would be immeasurably outweighed by all the good times; parents will probably worry more than they should; the supports are in place through both the domestic and foreign exchange organisations; and you get out of the exchange what you put into it.

While we do admit that the ten months seemed to go for eternity (especially the first five months), we nonetheless would wholeheartedly recommend that students (and their parents) strongly consider going on an exchange. It may well not be for everyone, but for many it will be an experience that will have lifelong benefits.

In closing, we would like to thank Student Exchange Australia (particularly the ever helpful and positive Melissa Moore) for making it all possible.

Mark and Debra Tyszkiewicz